Can’t get medicaid to send approval on the root canals G needs on his front teeth. He had 3 teeth filled yesterday and has 4 more to go plus the root canals. They pushed his appt back to July 17th. He’s gonna be in pain before they do anything. Thank god he doesn’t need to be hospitalized for fillings anymore. Asperger’s had it’s day, and seems to have released it’s hold on my boy. He still has moments, but barely.

I had xrays – 9 cavaties plus 2 root canals needed. The dentist is really nice. He gave me antibiotics to extend the life of MY front teeth at least 6 more weeks with the OTC temp filling I’m using. I’m so frustrated. They will pull my teeth when they go bad and send the bill in under the pediatric dentist. Medicaid won’t fill them, and it won’t help with dentures. I guess I never expected it to really matter, but after waiting 3 yrs to have Medicaid approved, and all the bitching people do about entitlements, I guess I was wishing for something more. Sometimes I let myself wonder what it would have been like to have money to care for myself. Then I cry. (Still can’t get the mamogram. Steve still can’t get his prostate checked.) Something is going on with my joints – my shoulder, neck, collarbone, heel – all sore, stiff, no rotation and definite range of motion issues. I can’t get on my knees and back up. Walking the lake yesterday, my hip joints were aching so intensly I only went around once. Is it the cheap shoes, or is it hormones? I don’t know. I don’t know how I am going to keep cleaning house with these freaking issues.

Would the Universe be adversly affected if something was easy just ONE day? Sorry. I just had to say it outloud somewhere.

I am waiting for the bank to mail my statement so we can get the final paperwork in to BOA. The site won’t let me print from it – one page prints then it locks up and nothing happens. They say nothing is decided. I sure hope it isn’t. I’m ready to unpack and take my house back.

It’s a lovely morning. The bird’s pre-dawn singing is one of the things I find great pleasure in. Last night, I left my knitting in the car when we went in for trivia – and Steve had to let me out and park down the hill…it was so funny to see him come inside carrying my baggie of yarn for me. He thought I left it accidentally. lol

I scraped enough money together to get Steve a pair of shoes. He argued with me over doing it. Mine are bad, G’s are bad…but Steve’s made me cry to know the olive ones were his go out in public shoes. to those who keep thinking the poor abuse the system, sometimes I want so badly to scream FUCK YOU in their faces. It’s so daunting to think this is our life.