So yesterday was Doctor day.

Steve downplayed his arm pain. Dr wants him to exercise it and ward off anything worse. She told him to use presses and the band. (The same exercises I had to research for ages to figure out. GRRR.)His bp was 167/100. I told her when we take it at home, it’s always 120/100. I couldn’t find his bp diary. He has white coat anxiety. Such bullshit to make yourself so stressed but it’s how he is. (and if I can just say it, I’m tired of him yelling at me because he doesn’t feel good. Join the club asshole – I don’t yell at you.)

I asked to talk to her in private because I knew I was gonna cry. I don’t know how I am going to keep cleaning houses. I am in so much pain. I thought she’d increase my medicine dosage – instead she totally changed the regime. OK. I understand what she’s doing is a bandaid approach. She wants me seen by a rehab doctor NOW. I’ll call them on Wednesday morning and hopefully they will see me. They also deal with fibromyalgia so maybe there will be some progress. She was not happy about the side effects the meds could cause all together – serotonin syndrome seems to be the most serious. I am ready for a hand up with this weight loss so I can continue on my own. I am doing research FIRST, then I will fill the perscription after we talk about meds again.

Right now, I am on these vitamins:

2000 units D, 2000 mcg B12, 65MG Iron,

She kept me on:

50MG Topamax at bedtime (for headache prevention).  She kept my subscription for Neurontin 300MG *use sparingly, up to 3 times a day as needed for pain. She said this is for shooting nerve pain.

She added:

25 MG of Elavil for insomnia *to be taken sparingly and only when it’s bad. Glucophage 500 MG 2 times a day (a diabetes medication that helps with weight loss and PCOD). 150 MG Zantac twice a day for the nausea I’ve been having. It’s mild but bothersome. I think it’s caused by the Glucosamine I take on my own. My main pain pill has been changed to Ultram 50 MG tablet, up to 3 times a day *but use as sparingly as possible. [Adipex-P 37.5 mg once a day for weight loss. and Percocet for break through pain.] She said the last 3 can be habit forming and we will start the last two later after discussing them again – I may wait and see what the rehab dr says too.

I just know I am tired and sick of the pain and sick of gaining weight no matter what I try diet wise. I can’t exercise. My heart and everything is fine – just my veins in my legs need support stockings from the varicose issues. I’m told I have good genes if I can just get an exercise program going. I want to be off meds and out of pain so bad.

The only actual DX at this time is degenerative disc disease. It effects several areas in my back and neck.

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I got up this morning and had a TB local honey, 1 TB Apple cider vinegar and 4 oz hot water – a container of yogurt, a small cup of soup (I was supossed to have tomato juice or a vegetable), 1 hb egg, and a cup of coffee. My vitamins, glucosamine, prozac, glucophage, zantac, no pain pill. We are cleaning house today and won’t eat again till 4pm or so.

Jackie won’t eat because he knows we are leaving.

I swear if we weren’t so broke I’d give Bobby notice. I can’t keep cleaning houses. I guess I can take all the pain pills as we leave the house so I can do it.