Well, the nice lady at GA Dept of Rev’s Recovery company set up an automatic debit from my account for the back taxes. This will let Bank of America move forward with their paper work on our restructured loan. It’s all well and good but I don’t have the money for them to withdraw. I have 148$ due on the Internet bill. There is $250 due on water, and $228 due for Electric. I expect to add another $100 to my $134 by the end of the month. Somehow, that doesn’t mesh up. Let’s see, G needs the Internet for school – we need the water for all of us – and my head just spins as to where yet another $50.50 will come from. I want to cry. Just flat out bawl.

My MRI showed Frozen Shoulder caused by trauma (?I assume it was the car accident I had) and degenerative arthritis along with my degenerative disc disease. I’ll be feeling good in my old age.

Every time I sip my coffee or eat something, I am so thankful for my two front teeth. I wish I could just revel in the kindness that was shown to me. All the rest of the stress hangs over me and tries to make me forget the good stuff. Having my teeth saved is good stuff! Having my bite corrected is amazing. Why can’t the rest just go away for a little while?

Thanksgiving is coming and we are invited to Don and Janice’s again. I wish I felt included. The meal is planned without a word to me and no one is reachable to call and ask if I can help with anything. I guess I’ll take my knitting because no one talks to me and I can hide in the open when my hands are busy. Geoffrey will eat, then sleep. There is nothing to engage him either and no one will try.

Kaiha will get her 1 yr medallion from AA on Thanksgiving night. I told her I’d be there. I need Steve to take me. He’ll hate going because he hates Kaiha, but I can’t drive myself at night and I’m going. I’m proud of her and she wants me there. One year! Such an achievement.

Dinner tonight will be whole grain pasta with tuna and white beans and green peas and mushroom soup. It will be filling. lol one of my favorite one pot meals! Steve tolerates it, and G won’t eat it. We have 6 days before the EBT card refills – we will be scraping the bottom by then. I have $30 to stretch till the 18th. That will be pet food, milk, bread, and gas.

Kayla’s Drs appointment has her measuring 38 weeks pregnant so we can have a baby any day! Her dad is pressuring her to not listen to her dr and not let them do a c-section under any circumstances. He’s such an idiot. He needs to keep his mouth shut. This is her responsibility and her body and baby. He would feel bad if something happened, but she’d be responsible. She’s going to try a vaginal birth after a c-sec. She doesn’t need him pressuring her. I can’t wait for the little poot to be born! I adore babies.

Geoffrey wants a shower curtain for Yule with a periodic table on it. He saw one on tv. He also asked me to start saving my change so he can eat Ramen Noodles when he goes to college. I love my kid lol. He’s taking 2 college classes to get certificates from Princeton – learning French and Russian – and doing brain exercises to improve his memory, plus his 10th grade classes and has all A’s. He never stops. He’s reading the Writer’s Handbook to improve his writing skills, and The Iliad. Child scares me, if he hadn’t been born at home, I’d be sure he was someone else’s child.

So I guess I let go of my negatives. They aren’t gone, but they aren’t bigger than the good stuff. THEY AREN’T BIGGER!