omg my covenspace mirror blog is giving me a 403 forbidden message this morning. I am praying it’s just temporary. I was on it just a few days ago and it was fine. I would be sick to loose it for a 3rd time.

Geoffrey is sick this morning, running a fever, so he’s home from school. Tomorrow was a free day so he’ll have 4 days to heal. His nose has been awful for two days now, but it always is in the spring. He has terrible allergies.

Yesterday I got a letter in the mail from my Insurance Peach State – The leg that branched due to Obamacare, saying my back and neck pain are chronic and won’t be covered by them for Physical Therapy. I’m trying to figure out how long I have been hurting like this and really, It’s been since early 2010 that my back has been popping and going downhill steadily. I couldn’t stand to do the GNC job in May, and it had been much longer than that, February, I think. The PT asked me to try to pinpoint a time when I had an accident or something that could have hurt my shoulder and I told them about the car accident in 1999 where the seatbelt clamped over my shoulder. That’s what the Insurance grabbed hold of. It’s boloney to deny Physical Therapy because of that. When I went in originally, I had an order for a cervical (neck, upper back) PT evaluation. The question I answered applied to that. I need to call the Dr this morning. When she says she’ll arrange a [shit, I lost the word] referal to a specialist – I need a followup mamogram and a rheummatologist consult, and one with a physcologist she says due to the disability claim; and they are supposed to call me, but no one ever does until I bitch at her. The mammogram could threaten my life if she’s not on it and that pisses me off – not that I think there is a problem, but still.

Bank of America paperwork is still riding my back. This time, they wanted the word through, not a dash on the Profit and Loss Statement. Then they wanted the date numbers added. Now they want another tax form which Steve wasn’t home to sign. The lady is so nice but damn I’m sick of this. Why does this drag on and on? I guess it’s our blessing so G can finish another year of school.

I listened in on a full moon ceremony last night and it was really nice. I felt so relaxed when it was over. The gal had us thinking on what 3 things would add to our happiness. I’m not there. I want that place where I can take care of myself. I want my health back and I want to work from home. My purpose – I always thought would be to teach women but that never happened… I still don’t know how these things can come, but my feelings – I understood what she was saying – my feelings, more than just my thoughts, need to be involved. All my life, it’s my feelings I’ve stuffed inside and denied. I can put out the positive thoughts with the best of them… they’ve been my shield and armour. But my feelings. Wow. It was quite a revalation.