So today I got blamed for not letting anyone know that cared about Kansas, that his parole could be coming up. All they asked me was whether I’d let him live with me, and I said no. They wouldn’t even let me know where he was. AND, everything I left behind was donated. I have no right to feel anything about anything.
I live with this extreme weight because I can’t please anyone. I am going to have a huge cry and release my children to the Goddess. I cannot keep my heart exposed to the two of them. May She protect the innocent babies. I am done with this.
But it hurts like hell. I didn’t choose to give up my children and my grandbabies. I didn’t choose to go leave my things forever. I chose to undo leaving my husband and thought I could go back for my things. I thought my daughter loved me. Yeah, there are consequences. I just didn’t expect this.
My oldest wrote me a note to tell me how sorry she was and that I didn’t deserve this. It means more than she will ever know.
About Morning Knits
I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, cooking, music, bird watching, herbs, and gardening. I am passionate about YHWH the Elohim of all the earth. I believe it's our responsibility to tend that earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in laughter, and the power of combined prayer. I am a true homebody.
I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. They are all grown. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, and I have a spoiled service dog and 2 rescued cats.
Right now, there is balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I would rather not do my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina which I ended up leaving for my husband to sell. I'm a two-time caregiver. My husband and I are separated due to stroke complications and personality difficulties.
I am in Texas now. The one place on earth I said I'd never go unless Yah moved me there and HERE I AM! G and I are sharing a small apartment and so far, things are going well.
Green Jean Granny 