and again, he’s coming

I’m impatient. I want him here with me and he’s busy loving me and trying to make me happy by fitting in all that he can into the car. He’s been delayed by packing my things into the car and I am screaming internally that they are THINGS and all I want is him.

He’s finally said the words that he’s moving forward with culling his belongings and he knows he’s going to have to let the house go. He is in too deep a hole to climb out of by himself. He said it’s a shame because it should have been more income for us as a rental or getting it sold, but he’s not seeing it happen and that’s had him hurting. I think that’s why I liked that meme I found “Don’t make a home in your pain.” We have a house, we have an income, we need to move forward.

And I need him on the road because I am a jealous wife. I am jealous of his sleep, his time spent on anything besides me right now. What a bitch I am in my head – I have made up my mind to love him in the very best way I can while he is here with me – I want him to KNOW beyond doubt that he is missed and needed and longed for, and necessary to our lives. We are suspended in time waiting for him and no one is living – not him, or me, while we are apart. I need my other half.

Broken record much?

About Morning Knits

I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, cooking, music, bird watching, herbs, and gardening. I am passionate about YHWH the Elohim of all the earth. I believe it's our responsibility to tend that earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in laughter, and the power of combined prayer. I am a true homebody. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. They are all grown. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, and I have a spoiled service dog and 2 rescued cats. Right now, there is balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I would rather not do my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina which I ended up leaving for my husband to sell. I'm a two-time caregiver. My husband and I are separated due to stroke complications and personality difficulties. I am in Texas now. The one place on earth I said I'd never go unless Yah moved me there and HERE I AM! G and I are sharing a small apartment and so far, things are going well.

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