I decided to take this off of the reply thread I was responding to because it became too long. Before the stroke, we worked, we watched tv, we grocery shopped together – we played trivia, we hung out. I knitted while he watched sports. What did you do that you still do?
I get the nightmare part about this whole thing. From the time I was a kid though, life has been hard. I’ve always had to look for ways to cope.
My gramma used to tell me life is about balance. I clung to that all the years my kids were growing up. 1 was depressed. 2 were ADHD/bipolar, one had anxiety disorder, one has Asperger’s. I have 6 kids… It was my job to hold balance. — and now they are grown.
Kids growing up happens faster than you can believe. It’s the same with every day of our lives, isn’t it? We can’t change what has happened, only how we react to it. I used to tell my kids there may be bad moments, but never bad days. My husband would get so mad at me for being positive. He said he was gonna put “Pollyanna” on my headstone. I used to laugh and say go ahead. I still feel that way. “I am and always will be the optimist – the hoper of far-flung hopes – the dreamer of improbable dreams.”
Find a method to the madness. (It’s why I like Doctor Who so much. He is a hero with a screw driver, two hearts, older than our universe, able to be male or female, a time lord. lol he’s a madman with a box!)
Don’t beat yourself up!!!!!
Start every day saying thank you. Allow yourself permission to say no, to not do a chore, to let some dust settle. Delegate as much as you can. Make eye contact with your husband. Keep a blessing jar. Write down the good stuff. Don’t take phone calls; screen them so you only talk to who you choose. Stop apologizing. There are things we can see one day that we can’t see during another so change your plans when necessary. Pace yourself. Use pie plates to serve dinner in (they hold paper plates, collect crumbs and sit on laps well). Simplify everything. Play music. Collect mantras. Keep index cards with inspiration on them – from songs, to sayings, to scriptures, to recipes, Make notes about things that work. Share ideas. Keep a book in the bathroom. OR tape an inspirational poster to the back of the bathroom door so you can read it when you sit.
Find something for your hands to do when you are sitting. I knit. Tarsha colored and did her school work. Someone else might do a different craft. If you can’t craft, set up a card table with a jigsaw puzzle on it. It will make a difference. Carry a worry stone – whatever it turns into, stress releases through our fingers.
If something seems too hard, break it down into parts and see what you can change.
Always begin when you remember. 
❤
Green Jean Granny 