I just watched a movie called The Tale. with Laura Dern. The story told, is my exact experience. Almost word for word. The girl in the movie was 13. I was 9. I always felt what happened to me was my fault, even into my 30’s. I just buried it. How can abuse like this happen to children? Yeah, we get over things – but they shape how we look at people and how we feel and there is a chasm of disconnect all life long. It shadows a person and keeps one separate and isolated. I wonder how we really heal from sexual abuse – I mean, more than just being able to look at it and talk about it – I used to think that THAT was healing, but not really. It never goes away. The movie brought out the manipulation that happens; how the child is brought into the act and convinced to participate. The lie swallows her and cajoles her into believing she loves the abuser. The SECRET becomes her cleft of protection from the sickness, the shame, and the anger projected on the people involved. There was a family unit that was sick and an un-mother who is angry as well. She blames the girl because she lied and the child cringes from that blame and points out the signs that were ignored. Someone should have known and saved her. YEARS after, the whole situation makes the woman STILL stand alone because mom failed to protect her … and there is so much guilt. So much guilt. It’s always the mother who is looked at and accused.
There is nothing that can be fixed, except the silence of the secret. Confrontation can’t be avoided.
Big breath.
And the Bible says
John 15:1
I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.
John 15:5
5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
And all of a sudden, I realized that there IS healing and that God is good and Jesus really is our savior in every sense.
__________________________
He’s all I need
He’s all I need
Jesus is all I need…
Green Jean Granny 