Green Jean Granny

Yesterday a lady called out of the blue and asked about our husband and wife cleaning team. She needed us to come in, vaccume, mop, dust, and clean bathrooms. We can do it! We had to buy supplies – $69. OUCH. We will work for $30 today, but it’s more than we had :0)

We also won $30 at trivia last night.

The storms passed us without damage.

Steve and I are good.

Geoffrey’s out of school for the summer.

My animals have food.

And the garden gave us another cuke and a squash and 20 big collard leaves. I was remembering how my granny Smith always served lots of tiny vegetable sides with her meals. LOL Now I know why! I bought a pkg of refrigerated pasta on mngrs special for $1.49. Dinner is already made – chicken/bacon tortelini with a parmesan cream sauce. We aren’t as choosie as we once were, but it’s darn good!

And now to finish my coffee and pull together this day! Thank you Universe for all the good things in my life. Thank you for another day of opportunity and if we could just have two more cleaning jobs, we could make our house payment. LOVE LOVE….

This morning held a first for me. I quit the first job I’ve ever quit after 2 weeks, in all my 50 yrs. The manager wasn’t picking up the phone and I left a message. I also left my phone number in case he wants to call me back. So wierd.

Steve and I are going to run a peach stand. I know I talked about it the other day, but we committed. It’s a lot of hours but it will be hours we can spend together. We started this relationship working together and we enjoy it – it’s not new.  We will keep trying to develop our own cleaning business to suppliment the peach stand. Seems like nothing changes from day to day but ideas abound. I am going to set up a traveling pack for making my jewelry and work it during down time in the peach stand. I am really excited to have a job we can do other things while doing. I can knit, read, have music. We’ll plug in a cord and have a lamp and a fan and a boom box! Woot!

I walked the garden this morning. Twenty leaves of collards, 1 yellow squash, 1 cucumber, 1 strawberry. Baby okra are developing. There must be 30 baby squash out there. The tomatoes need staking. We are going to have an abundance of tomatoes! The beans need a net to grow up. The spaghetti squash need a net/support too. It looks like someone seeded polk weed in the beds. We need to loosen the dirt around the plant bases. Carrots are up and thick, young greens are everywhere! We need to work it!

Tuesday night, we made Geoffrey attend the 8th grade award ceremony. He got one award for Acedemics and was not happy to be on stage not getting lots of awards. At the end of the ceremony, the Vice Principal stopped the closing speach she was giving and said she had a surprise for the students. Over and over the same names came up for excellence and they decided to award plaques for Superior Acedemics to 15 of the 8th grade students. Geoffrey’s name was the 3rd called! He was so excited. His face was a huge smile. He had no clue the honor was coming. He decided to use his new shiney plaque to shine light into my and Steve’s eyes while the rest of the awards were given out. He was very proud and very silly. On the way home he made up a ring-rhyme ditty about how awesome he was and how how great he was.

Last night we won 1st at trivia which gave us gas money to play again tonight at a little place we’ve won at for the last 2 weeks. That money will buy toilet paper and pet food. We are scraping by. I wish the stress of not having jobs would go away. If we could live like this, working together, gardening, loving our boy and each other, without the stress of “get to work” over our heads – it would be a good thing. We are simple people. We don’t NEED a lot. We just need unbroken. And I sound like a scratched record… sorry.

Today, I said goodbye to GNC – I decided my back health is more important than $70 a week when we can make it up in trivia earnings. I love my husband for being willing to make sure the fruit stand works with 50 hrs a week required. I love my son for having his summer days planned out so we don’t have to worry about him. I love my little dog who checks on ME first, always. I love my garden that is trying to grow to the moon! lol I should thin it, I’m sure, but I can’t bring myself to do it! Sometimes I get overwhelmed. This morning is a different time. This morning is about possibilities! New things! and Living with LOVE.

And coffee…don’t forget the coffee!

I was hired for GNC and 5 days later told that they’d also hired a 22 yr old for the same store. I would only get a max of 14 hrs unless, once my training is done, I work at the Mall of GA store where I can get 30 hrs. Buford is too far to drive for minimum wage, it just is. The job requires constant standing and it’s taken every bit of willpower to do it. I am too heavy even though I’m loosing, to have no breaks and no chance to sit. I have not quit. I am taking it one day at a time. I think I picked up the respiratory bug from work, too, which hasn’t helped. I will work 5 hrs both Thursday and Friday for GNC. I need a pair of black slacks so I don’t have to wear the same pants every day. I’m also supposed to have a collared white shirt. Mngr is letting me wear a white tee until I get paid in 2 weeks – so much for a first check.

Yesterday, I was offered a fulltime job here in Snellville. Technically, it’s called a Produce Sales Manager. It’s through Manpower, a temp agency. It will run from June 1st until September, then maybe a bit longer. It is running a peach stand 6 days a week. Steve and I could run it together, we could take Jackie if we want, It’s like it’s ours. We’d be responsible for inventory, money, sales, etc. If I needed a day for other things, Steve could watch it. If he needs a day, I can do it. Sounds good. Money is $410 a week with comission potential of up to $240. It’s also better than GNC. I can do other activities when I’m not busy, like crochet, read, use the laptop, etc. I might even be able to sell my herbs.

So we drove to the address the lady gave us yesterday where the stand would be and there is no hint of a stand. Nothing. No fence, no stand, no spot for it that we can see. If the address is correct, it would be crammed against the road, no grass, no tress, nothing but asphalt. NOT GOOD. We certainly couldn’t take Jackie and as much as people don’t understand, the dog is a big consideration for us; as is being able to stand the heat coming off the traffic in the GA summer temps. We were pretty let down. If they position it toward the back of the strip mall, it would be doable, but the address is not what she gave me. As much as we’d like the job, something has to be different to take it. They told me there would be opportunity to sell pumpkins and xmas trees as well, as the year progressed. Not gonna happen there.

Steve’s also working one day a week with his brother at $15 an hour. He says there is a possibility of working two days.

I’m cleaning a house 2 days a month now, too, making $100 each day. That took both me and Steve 5 hrs to complete.

We’ve been picking up a few dollars here and there from trivia – $30 on Thursday, $$25 – 50 on Wednesday.  It’s basically our meal and gas, but it’s an outing we enjoy. We accumulated enough points to qualify for a tournament and I played on an alternate team which actually won 1st place. My share of the winnings was $100. It was fun and it helps a lot. When we play Fridays, we always win House cash which helps with the groceries a lot. We can go in and get a meal and salad to share, take something home for G, and this week we had a beer. It feels like a guilty pleasure sometimes, but we have to protect our marriage too and do something together. Plus we put the winnings and bit of money we get into the bank for the house payment. The kids refuse to make the housepayment because they are afraid if they help with that, we’ll still end up loosing it and they don’t want to throw their money away. SIGH.

The hardest part is that nothing is set yet. Every penny we get goes to food or gas and the house and there are needs we face that can’t begin to be met. The kids are my main emotional support but even then I’m always careful not to say too much or let them hear me cry. But their excitement over GNC just fills me with guilt because I know I can’t keep the job. I’m in too much pain. I’m not being picky and I’m not self-sabotaging as someone accused me of. I was a customer support rep and a pet store manager, I’ve thrown a newspaper route and I was a homemaker.  In that order. I have messed up college loans because I tried to attend online college and they screwed me before I could get my degree. I can’t go back to school because my loans are maxed out.

This morning I picked a small bunch of broccoli, 4 strawberries and a cucumber out of the garden. The laptop has died. We have no air conditioning and it’s 90-95 degrees this week. The washer only half works, the agitator function is breaking. We have no dryer. The vaccume cleaner is bungie corded and duct taped to the handle. G’s clothes are not gonna make another 2 months let alone another year – his knees are all ripped out and they are too short. He has no shorts and only a couple of tee shirts. His school shirts are horribly stained. Steve has lost weight too and his pants are falling off of him. He has old holie tees that were trivia wins in the first place. I’ve lost from a size 28 to a 20 and have nothing. I died my hair to try to get a job and now I have to keep it dyed –

I swear I’m trying to be positive but it just doesn’t help to say this morning I picked a small bunch of broccoli, 4 strawberries and a cucumber out of the garden, again. Life is overwhelming and the govt is ignoring the unemployed. We’re just 10% of the population anyway, right? I am just at such a loss. I can’t ask my daughter for more money. They pay our utilities and bank auto drafts and it’s not like that’s small. The amounts fluctuate and they will do it for us long term. But how do we get to the point where things are enough? I don’t want a lot. I just want enough.

Every morning I begin my days with thank you’s to the Universe. I thanked the Powers that Be for my broccoli, strawberries, cucumber and the baby squash on the vines. I said thank you for the new day to figure this out in. I do count every opportunity as a positive – I ask the Universe/Goddess to show me the good stuff. She always does, but “the bad is the balance” comes to me. It keeps us humble. I don’t know what we will do to get through and make our own way, but we are trying.

Do you hear me GOD? We are trying.

I went into the GNC store right at 11am. Mr Hawks was waiting. He was in his early 50’s, a bit laid back. Very nice. He started asking me questions and I asked him what he wanted. The proper interview from my resume or would he like to talk to me? He said “Please, let’s be real.” So I was. We talked about the job, the expectations, the dress code, unemployment, minimum wage, herbs, surviving, etc. He pulled out the schedule with my name on it already, and I had an anxiety attack. Complete with nausea, hot flash, dizzyness, blurred vision and heart palps. I asked for a chair. It was overwhelming to hear a yes after 2.5 yrs of unemployment. I hadn’t eaten and I am sure I wasn’t breathing. I almost cried too. He was worried but he hired me anyway. I am now a very part time employee of GNC. The hours are very limited with 25-30 being the max unless someone calls from another store needing help. I need money for a pair of slacks and a couple of tee shirts. My boots will do. I’m gonna have to hit my daughter up for a bit of money before Monday, when I start!

I came home and took a nap – really I stripped and collapsed on the bed and crashed. I was very shakey. My sweet neice with 3 small children sent me a note asking if she could send me $50. Of course I told her no – but for her to even offer just warmed my heart. AND, there was another email in my Facebook mailbox from one of the trivia hosts we play with. He asked me if he’d seen right about me cleaning houses. He’s lost his ‘girl.’ He was paying her $100, twice a month, she picked the days, to clean his apartment and he wanted to know if I wanted the job. I told him ABSOLUTELY!

I think we are going to eek out a survival. I will work 14 hrs next week, and, clean Bobby’s apartment. It’s not much, but it means I can feed my cats, buy toilet paper, tampons, pizza rolls and gas. Last night we played trivia at a new place and were suprised at the end because the management paid $30 for first place. We won of course. It was gas money to the interview. Sunday, Steve will play in a tournament and they have a great shot at winning.

I used to say I want my life back. But reality is, life has just gone on differently. We may be America’s new poor, but with a little help from friends and family, I think we can make it. I almost lost hope there for a while. I almost gave up on my husband, my marriage; I almost ran away. NOT the answer.

You have to dig in and take it moment by moment.

So one thing leads to another right? A lady calls me about housekeeping – I go someplace else to check on e/o’s for cleaners. I meet a lady over the phone, then face to face, and she gives me a referal to another store and a manager who can HIRE right then, right that moment. I meet him tomorrow morning.

Here’s the story for those who haven’t seen it elsewhere ;0)

I called the GNC store this morning to find out their hours and the lady who answered said they open at 10am. It was 9:20 when she answered and I quipped, wow, you are a great employee to answer the phone off the clock! She laughed, said she believed in answering the phone and we hung up. At 10…, I was greeted by a young man who was trying his best to help me find what I wanted, but he had no clue what I was trying to do. I was checking out their essential oils of course! I started talking to him about how they could be used and their properties and what I was doing, mainly because he was trying to ‘show’ me to everything. I figured I might as well talk to him :0) The lady at the counter who’d been on the phone made eye contact with me and I said “you must be Sandy, the lady I talked to earlier” she said “oh was that YOU this morning?” We exchanged some info about herbs and cleaners and I told her I grow medicinal herbs. She asked if I grew marijuana and I said NO, but I’ve considered it because of the unemployment. It basically lead to conversation about a JOB – a store 6 miles from me needs help badly. Not only did she call the manager to let him know I was coming in tomorrow, she handed me a print application! I haven’t touched a print application in the entire time I’ve been laid off. She also let me know that while I had to fill out the online app, the manager in the store can hire me on the spot if he chooses. OMG. She was so helpful and nice and told me how the stores have high turn overs of employees because they push for sales numbers. Do you KNOW what my interests could do for their numbers? LOL I’ve cooked with protein powder – I’m actively loosing weight. I know herbs, I have pets and treat them with natural products, I can explain green cleaners. I know how to use their products to SAVE money. If I don’t get that job tomorrow, something is really, really, wrong. I am so excited. I told Steve it doesn’t matter how long it’s for, everything is better than nothing! I’ll work 1 hour, 20 hrs, 40…whatever they need. I know once I’m hired, an employer will keep me. I am also not going to let an inconsiderate lazy lady get me down. I guess I’m terrible. I don’t want to work for lazy people! If I was feeling bad and had an unemployed female cousin living in MY basement, I’d tell them to earn their keep and help me and NOT pay money out to a stranger for the same work. I’d rather pay my family than someone I don’t know.

What a twisted way of thinking –

aw man, who cares? I’m going to GNC tomorrow, READY to work.