We came home from trivia discussing how a bit better strategy might have netted us a bit of cash, but fact remained, we didn’t finish in the money. We did ok though. It was a nice afternoon. The pressure had both Steve and i napping by about 6pm, and trying to reground. he studied his music book, i crocheted. So still no housepmt money – we get $50 here, and spend $30 there and my little hoard stays small. We have almost $300 of the $667 we needed this month. Steve will work with Don today and we’ll gather enough to make 1 pmt and stay one pmt behind. My stomach knots thinking how the month is over and the cabinets are totally bare and the money i have will be gone by the 2nd – we’ll start the scrape again.

A dear friend, with such a kind heart, is sending me garden seeds. my beds are ready to get the fall garden started. I have some broccoli and cauliflower to begin with and those seeds go in this morning. We are still way above 90 degrees each day. i’m putting lettuce and carrots into the cold frames. With luck, collards, chard, kale, onions, collards will flourish. i wish we had instant grow powder to sprinkle on the babies.

Another friend asked me for my paypal address and sent me $50. We know so many people in so much distress right now. She asked me to keep the gift anonymus because she has to pick and choose who to help. I am relying on the kindness of strangers who love me sight unseen. I’m gonna change my f’ing name to blanch. Goddess please let my life flourish so I can pay such love forward.

Another friend who i gave a few dollars to, weeks ago, when she was selling blood plasma asked me if i wanted the money i gave her, back. i never even considered it. Bless her heart for asking.

We put our priorities out there into the universe.  One person fights to pull together a birthday party for her child, and another for a trip to California as a last ditch effort to reconnect to old business ties and maybe end years of homelessness. We are fighting to keep our home and not put our pets down. Another young family strives to begin a decent life and bring their unborn child into comfort of some kind. They fight the guilt of not being able to support both themselves and their parents and siblings. Everyone gathers their small lives closely around their hearts and prays that if there is a God, he will have mercy and help. The scenario if things progress as they are, is frightening. We could be on the street, living in our car in just a very short time.

i think the hardest thing for me, is to see people waste what we so desperately need. Food stuffs allowed to expire; 2 people living in 10 bedroom, 10 bath houses that are paid for – FAMILY – that doesn’t say, hey, we won’t let you live in your car. instead, they deny their friendship online and leave you to stress because you are different than they are…because they think your politics are liberal and you are worthless. THAT is hard for me. And if that’s not their viewpoint, it’s what they put out there and how they conduct themselves. it’s their face to the world. Gods bless them too – they will need blessings to live with the pain around them.

What a place my thoughts get stuck in!

my daughter just let me know their power should be back on by late tonight. They lost the contents of fridge and freezer and a tree uprooted in their yard. Hurricane irene has come and gone and my children are safe. Their skies are blue. Thank you Universe.

We lost a computer cooling fan to last night’s power outage. My son is not happy because it’s his computer we can’t use until fixed. So he’s on my machine, and I’m on an old limping laptop. The keys stick and the shift doesn’t work.

LOL things could be worse. Today, there is food. Today, we are online. Today, we are safe. Today we are together. What more do I need for THIS day? Can’t think of a thing.

My mama used to say “tough titty said the kitty, but the milk’s still good.”