Yesterday was our trivia tournament. We did well, had a good team, but didn’t pull out THE win. The last question was tricky. Put down up to 20 answers, 2 pts for each right answer, 2 points subtracted for each wrong. We had a good number right, but too many wrong. Our first place going into the final slipped away – and our team of 6 won $100. We are all disappointed.

Steve’s been up all night reliving the loss and kicking himself for what should/could have been. I went to bed early – the strain had me experiencing heart palpatations and sweaty palms. Win or no, it stopped being quite as important when I had such an intense physical reaction. So after eating a sandwhich, I headed on upstairs to let my mind and body rest.

This morning, I feel much better. Steve has finally gone upstairs to pace, and is now vomiting. I guess he didn’t need my unasked for reminder about guarding his mental health. I have the living room cleaned and projects planned for today. I simply have no clue how to bring in the house payment for October. We are down yesterday’s $100 which we traded to compete instead of work, and Steve had a short day at his brother’s on Wednesday. So $140 less this week than expected – and I really don’t know what to do.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to just decide to stop this merry-go-round but there is no other ride to jump onto. As many pennies as I save, as much I plan and corners that I cut, there is still no job. That one factor keeps everything else from prospering.

Yesterday’s loss was big – first was $2500. We had to try. We lost by 4 answers too many.

Now we recover. I hope.