enough food and no money for house payments…what a quandry. Steve seems to think his brother will buy our house to help us. That’s wonderful but we can’t pay him rent either. I wish this wasn’t constantly on my mind. I don’t know whether to pack or not. I just know I want enough time to sort stuff if moving comes.

Yesterday we spent $3 and bought me 3 tops at Lillie’s Cloak – a local thrift shop. I came home and still wanted to cry. I guess I should kill my vanity so I can do this without feeling. You buy what is there without any choice except it’s a 2X. Green, brown, blue with fish bones. I will be cool enough and that is what is important. What the fuck is wrong with me?

When we got home there was a box from a friend with lotion, hand soap, fish oil (vitamins), candles, incense, yarn, books, buttons. I love my friends. I sat on the couch and knitted and thumbed through the books – I am starting to get some things made that I can sell. 

Last night G was talking and kind of mad at his teacher for treating them like they were stupid. Why did the polite man go to the beach? To become a tan gent (tangent). He didn’t even want to do the work on the project because it was so dumb. I sat from across the room and thought what a handsome young man he’s become. Steve has been talking about him learning to drive. G has never mentioned it. I told Steve to stop bringing it up because my heart can’t see that happening yet. I also told him that before G learns to drive, he has to learn to knit. The focus and attention to detail will show me he’s serious and can pay attention. I’m only kind of kidding. G won’t want to and will let go of driving for a while. Steve wants normalacy from our kiddo but Asperger’s takes that away. I figure he’ll learn in time, but he’ll be older. He’s getting good looking enough he’s going to get more attention than he can handle – he doesn’t need the kind of attention car keys would bring. Plus, his vanity might want something other than our Jimmy to unwind his tall frame from – 6 ft even now.

I used the food stamp card to buy plants for the garden. Herbs, seeds, veges, fruit… the clerk didn’t know it could be done and said in his 3 years at Walmart, no one else had ever done it. I guess I’m an EBT trend setter.  

well, big breaths and blogging only delay the day. I’m going to clean the downstairs bathroom and position the plants where we need to put them – steve plants them since I can’t get up and down easily. Dishes need washing and clothes need hanging and folding. It’s a beautiful morning – nice and warm and sunshiney.

Self Employed, not unemployed… I guess I’m wasting time! ♥